Chapter Text
On this day, the SMG4 were all hanging out in the Showgrounds.
Unfortunately, Saiko, Kaizo, and Shroomy were absent, due to their work as rock stars and boy scouts, respectively. Cipher happily took their place, always up to hanging out with the gang. The gang were all currently sitting in the castle outline, playing a game of “Spin the Bottle.”
It was currently Melony’s turn. The girl reaches over to the empty milk bottle and gives it a hardy spin. The bottle spins around before slowing down and eventually stopping towards SMG3.
“Ah crap…” SMG3 mutters.
From the milk bottle emerges a tiny, deformed RED Engineer, who stares up at SMG3.
“You are UGLY!” The tiny Engineer said, before running back into the milk bottle
SMG3 stares flatly at the milk bottle. “Well this fricken’ sucks.”
SMG4 noticed SMG3’s bored expression, which was present on almost everyone else’s face, too. He knew that their new hangout spot didn’t have much to offer, but he was still confident that, with a little patience, he could turn this place around.
“SMG4…” Mario whined, drawing SMG4 out of his musings. “Where’s your TV?! Can’t we play video games or something?!”
“Yeah!” SMG3 agreed. “When you said ‘come and hang out,’ I didn’t know we’d be literally playing in the dirt.”
“Aww, c’mon guys,” SMG4 said, trying to stay optimistic. “It’s not about having a TV or furniture or…or even fundamental living materials… It’s about spending time with your friends!”
The gang don’t look convinced by SMG4’s words. Bob himself gets off the ground and starts walking away.
“WhO wAnTs To Go To My PlAcE?” Bob asked the gang as he departed.
“Oh, thank god!” SMG3 said, getting up and following after Bob, wanting to be anywhere else but here.
“Mario thought you’d never ask!” Mario said as he and the others started making their way out of the Showgrounds.
“Aw, c’mon!” SMG4 said, begging his friends to not go. “Who wants to uhh…” He reaches in and pulls out a random fact book from his pocket, “Read…this book on conjunctivitis with me?”
SMG4’s suggestion earns him getting hit with the milk bottle, sending him tumbling away and onto the ground. He lays on his back, looking pathetically up at the sky when Meggy and Desti come into his view.
“SMG4…” Meggy said with an awkward look, “when were we going to get that new castle you were talking about?”
Indeed, even after a week, there had been very little progress in the castle’s construction. The most that’s been done was SMG4 putting A-Frame safety barricades around the chalk outline of the building area, and parking his RV at the back of it.
“I, uhh…” SMG4 mutters. “I need to save up for that, still…”
“If money’s the issue…” Desti said, rubbing her chin in thought and turning to the others, “then why don’t we help SMG4 raise money for a new castle!”
Everyone, other than Bob, seemed to like the idea. Mario brought out his old lemonade stand and set it up on the Showgrounds, him, Desti, and Meggy all volunteering to operate it. The rest of the gang stood around it, leaning against it, sitting on the ground around it, relaxing in lawn chairs, or in the case of Melony, spelling on her boyfriend’s lap.
They all waited for someone to walk by, but after 15 minutes, all that strolled past them was a poorly-edited jpeg of a tumbleweed. SMG4 sighs in disappointment, while some of the others start growing bored.
“Does this place even get any foot traffic?” Meggy asked out loud.
“I’m sure someone will come,” Tari said as she played with her rubber ducky, “...any second now.”
Many Hours Later…
By now, most of the gang were bored out of their minds. No one had come to the Showgrounds, not even a random stray. They were all ready to fall asleep like Melony, when Boopkins heard rattling coming from a nearby garbage can.
He turns to see Depresso the Clown rummaging through their garbage, but Boopkins sees an opportunity for business and alerts the others.
“THERE’S SOMEONE!” Boopkins shouts, directing the gang’s attention to Depresso.
“QUICK, HE MIGHT WANT SOME LEMONADE!” Meggy called out, causing Bob and SMG3 to rush towards Depresso.
Depresso barely had time to reach when Bob and SMG3 pounced on him, pinning his head to the elevated curb of the walkway. The clown screamed and flailed at the guys pinned him down, their grips slipping a bit under all of Depresso’s struggling.
“Hurry and make the sale, Mario!” SMG3 said, him and Bob trying to keep Depresso long enough to do so.
Mario leaps into action at SMG3’s call. He hops over the lemonade stand and rushes towards SMG3 and Bob, stopping in front of Depresso. He then takes out a glass of his “self-made” lemonade and offers it to the sad clown.
“HAVE SOME LEMONADE,” Mario said. “YOU LOOK THIRSTY.” He then shoves the glass of lemonade straight into Depresso’s mouth.
Depresso chokes on the disgusting-tasting liquid being forced down his throat. His struggle becomes even more frantic, but thankfully SMG4 comes to his rescue.
“GUYS GUYS STOP!” 4 yelled, making the three pinning Depresso stop and turn to him. “There’s got to be a better way…”
Everyone stares at SMG4 quizzically, but do let go of Depresso, much to the clown’s relief. Depresso gets up and, filled with rage, turns and kicks SMG3 in the balls with his giant clown shoes. He then storms off, leaving SMG3 to pull out a mike stand and scream/sing a battle cry of pain over his destroyed testicl*s before collapsing to the ground in agony.
“Hahaha!” Mario laughed and pointed at the downed SMG3. “Oh man! Mario would pay money to see that again!”
Mario’s laughter-filled words give SMG4 an idea. “GUYS! THAT’S IT!” He then runs off towards some of the old circus tents.
“Ohhh, my eggdogs…” SMG3 groaned, still in great pain as the others followed after SMG4.
SMG3 joins them once the pain dies down and they all watch SMG4. They watch the meme man curiously as he brings out a bunch of circus equipment, (hula hoops, target boards, colourful balls, balloons, even a cannon, elephant, and a freaking LION!), and sets them all down around the right-side circle indent of the Showground. SMG4 then steps onto a large circus platform, pulls out a top hat and cane, and turns dramatically to the gang.
“Step right up! Step right up!” SMG4 said in a booming voice. “You're all invited to perform in the AMAZING SMG4 show!”
“A show?” Boopkins asked, confused yet intrigued. “How will that work?”
“Well, what I have lying around here are a bunch of circus props you can use. Find something that you might like!”
“But we’ve never done circus stuff before, SMG4,” Desti told him. “How are we supposed to know what to do?”
Desti stepped back a bit when SMG4 got in her face, staring at her with extended eyeballs and a somewhat deranged smile on his face.
“By B E L I E V I N G in yourself!” 4 said, straining his voice as he spoke, before suddenly popping back to normal. “Now hurry up! Time’s money!” With a clap of his hands, SMG4 disappears in a puff of smoke.
The gang were now with themselves, staring at the assorted pile of circus stuff. They weren’t sure where to start, but most of them were admittedly willing and even excited to try it out. The gang share a look with each other before moving towards the circus stuff to see what they can make of it.
Up first was Mario. He looks around a particular part of the pile and notices a lone unicycle lying around it. An idea pops into his head and he rushes over to grab the unicycle. He hops on it and, after a few moments of adjusting, manages to balance himself on his new unicycle.
“I’mma gonna fly for-a you!” Mario said to himself, before slowly losing his balance and falling onto the ground with his back.
He was undeterred though, and he began petting his unicycle across the ground. He sped around the Showgrounds like a racecar, tearing across the dirt while making engine noises. Mario ends up going so fast that he starts leaving a trail of fire behind him, which leads to some problems when he passes by Luigi.
Luigi was practicing juggling some balls in his hands, actually doing quite well despite having never juggled before. He was happily practicing when Mario ran past him, the plumber’s literally blazing speed frying Luigi until he was a charred skeleton. The man still managed to keep juggling, except that his juggling balls, incinerated by Mario, were replaced by his own eyeballs and brain, both of which had fallen out of his skull.
While that was going on, Bob was staring at the pile of circus equipment, not making heads or tails of how he could use any of it for himself.
“ThIs Is So StUpId,” Bob shouted, “WhY i OuGhTa-”
“Hmmmmmm…”
“Huh?” Bob turned to the sound of the humming and found Boopkins, looking over some circus toys by the cannon.
“Heeeeeyyy~” Boopkins said as he put a hula hoop around himself. “I think I can do the hula hoops! Wheee! Look at meee!” He played with the hula hoop, spinning it around his body.
Bob stared at Boopkins with starry eyes, but not because of the fish’s hula hoop skills. Instead, he was looking at the cannon behind Boopkins, and thought that his friend would make a GREAT cannon ball. Bob begins walking over Boopkins, who noticed his friend approaching.
“Ho, hey Bob!” Boopkins greets the man. “What’s up?”
Before Boopkins knew it, Bob snatched him up, shoved him in the cannon, and fired it. Boopkins shot out like a blazing fireball, burning and screaming across the sky. He flew over Tari and Meggy, both of whom had gone to the lion SMG4 had brought out.
“Uh…” Meggy said, nervously looking over the still beast. “I-I don’t think we can do much with a lion, Tari…”
Tari, however, was undeterred by Meggy’s skepticism. She stares hard at the beast, letting out inquisitive hums at it as she thinks of ways they could use them in her and Meggy’s performance.
“Tari?” Meggy raises an eyebrow at Tari as the gamer girl raises her robotic left hand to her mouth.
She then lets out a loud finger whistle towards the lion, calling it to attention. After a second of pause, the lion starts spinning around in place. They spun around in all directions, breaking the laws of physics with some maneuvers, while slow jazz played in the background.
Tari laughed in triumph at her idea working, before joining in oh the lion’s spinning.
“I-I don’t believe it…” Meggy said, shocked by what she was seeing. She then joins in on the two’s spinning, their “lion tamer” act set.
Nearby, Cipher had decided what his own act would be. Being a natural magic-user, he had figured that being a magician would be a perfect act for himself. He looked through the pile and managed to find a sparkly top hat and cape, both looking like a blueish, starry night sky, and put them on. He also grabs a regular magician stick, completing the look.
“All set,” Cipher mutters to himself. “Now, let’s see what we can do!”
His hand starts glowing green with Plant magic, which spreads over his magic wand, concentrating at the tip. A large ball of glowing, green magic grows at the wand tip before Cipher reels it back and fires it towards the ground in a stream. All the magic is soaked up into the ground, and a golden flower pops out of it a few seconds later.
Cipher looks at the golden flower in amazement…only for his face to fall into an expression of disturbed horror when the flower turns to him, revealing itself to be Flowey from “Undertale.”
“Hi!” Flowey greeted Cipher. “I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower! And I’m here to E̕͡A̢͜T̡͢҉ ̵̡̕Ỳ͘O̕͜͜͞͠U͏͜͟͠R̛̀ ̷̧́͘͜S̸͝Ó̕͝U͢͝L͏́͠!̴̷́"͏̶͠
Flowey’s face morphs into one of his infamous nightmare faces, with soul-piercing eyes and a creepy smile that stretches further than his head. He also starts transforming into his Omega Flowey form, but before it gets too far, Cipher blasted him with a barrage of Fire magic.
Cipher didn’t stop until Flowey was nothing more than a pile of ash. Once he was absolutely, 100% certain Flower wouldn’t get back up, he relaxed, letting out a heavy sigh.
“Looks like I gotta practice more…” Cipher said as he lifted up his wand, ready to do more summoning tricks.
Around the same area as Cipher, SMG3 was putting his evil genius to work. He didn’t really want to help SMG4 and his stupid circus bit, but if he was gonna perform, he was gonna have some fun with it. He creates a paper mask resembling his rival and, with an evil giggle, puts it over his face.
“Look!” SMG3 said in a mocking tone. “I’m performing to be a clown!”
SMG3 laughed at his own joke, but SMG4 himself didn’t take too kindly to this poor mockery. He appears behind SMG3 and, with a comically-oversized hand, smacks him away, sending 3 crashing into a pile of clown horns.
Off to the side, Desti chuckled at SMG3’s predicament as she and Axol set up their act. She had asked the manga artist if she wanted to join her, since Meggy had already joined Tari’s act. Axol was hesitant at first, not wanting to leave Melony’s side, but his girlfriend said he could go and that she wanted to do her own thing this time.
While still feeling a bit unsure, Axol trusted Melony, so he joined up with Desti. The two had decided on a knife-throwing act, incorporating Desti’s knife skills and Axol’s Inkweaver Anime Replicas for practice. A replica of Monkey D. Luffy was strapped to a large, spinning, circular, red-and-white striped wooden board, one designed for such an act, and Desti, standing 10 feet away from it, pulled out the circus-themed throwing knives from a crate beside her.
“You ready, Desti?” Axol asked Desti, putting his hand on the wheel.
“Ready!” Desti answered, holding out a fan of throwing knives in each hand.
Axol spun the wheel around, letting it pick up momentum before Desti started throwing her knives. She threw her knives with rapid speed, one hitting the board every half-second and landing around the Luffy replica. The knives formed an outline around the replica’s body, each one dangerously close to stabbing him.
After almost 10 seconds of non-stop knife throwing, Desti stopped, her work finished. Axol stopped the wheel at the same time and looked over to the wheel. He was amazed to see his Luffy replica surrounded by knives, all in a perfect outline just a measly centimeter or two away from slicing Luffy’s body.
“Ha ha!” The Luffy replica laughed. “I almost died!” He then fell limp and faded away, his time limit up.
“Holy cow…” Axol said, still stunned by Desti’s knifework. “That was impressive, Desti.”
“Thanks!” Desti beamed at the praise. “I’ve been practicing with Shroomy for years now, so I’m happy you approve!”
“I’m guessing you want to try with me now?”
“Of course! And since you’re an axolotl, if I mess up, you can just regrow whatever’s cut off!”
“...Y-You’re joking, right?”
“...Yes…mostly. D-Don’t worry, you’ll be fine!”
Axol was starting to regret agreeing to this idea. Nevertheless, he strapped himself onto the wheel, him and Desti practicing their routine, albeit much more slowly for Axol’s sake.
Most everyone had managed to find an act or routine by now, except for Melony. Despite what she had told Axol earlier, she was actually finding it difficult to find an act of her own. She saw the others doing their own routines and sighed, realizing she needed to find something to do or she'd let down her friends.
She was looking around the area when she spotted a few juggling balls on the ground. Thinking she could use them for an act, she picks them up and throws them into the air. She spreads her arms out to juggle them, only for the balls to fall all around her, one even bouncing off her head.
Melony sighs sadly once more, her juggling act a bust. She was about to move on when SMG4 reappeared, startling her, and turned towards the gang.
“Okay!” SMG4 said, drawing the group’s attention. “We have four hours ‘til showtime! Go and practice!”
“WHAT?!” Meggy yelled in shock. “Four hours?! SMG4, we just started-”
“I SAID GO AND PRACTICE!!” SMG4 claps his hands again to disappear, only to summon a sad-looking Depresso instead. “Whoops! That was my ‘summoning disappointment’ magic trick.” He claps again, this time teleporting himself and Depresso away in a puff of smoke.
The gang were by themselves once more. They looked amongst each other, feeling unsure about their chances with their acts now that SMG4 had given them a time limit.
“It’s okay, guys!” Cipher said to them. “Four hours will be more than enough time. We’re only doing a small show anyways, so it doesn’t have to be perfect! Let’s just do our best!”
Cipher’s words radiated with the gang, filling them with confidence. The ones with set acts go back and continue practicing their routines for the big show. The ones without an act, Melony and SMG3, just stood around.
“...Did you want to pair up?” Melony asked SMG3.
“Nope,” SMG3 curtly answered, rejecting Melony’s offer. “I’m gonna go stream.” He walks away from Melony, leaving the girl to sulk.
Melony hung her head down in sadness when her eyes caught a glimpse of Meggy and Tari ahead. Meggy was holding a large hoop while Tari was standing beside their lion, both practicing something new for their act. Thinking she could help, Melony walks over to the girls as they begin their routine.
“Are…are you sure about this?” Meggy nervously asked Tari.
“Of course,” Tari reassured Meggy. She then turned to the lion. “Ok, Isaac. You just gotta jump through the hoop. Can you do that?”
Isaac the Lion responded by standing himself up. “For you, I give my life.”
Isaac then launched himself towards the hoop while shouting “INNNNCOMMMIIIIIIIING!” He shoots through the hoop like a speeding missile, the force knocking Meggy over. Isaac lands on the ground on the other side and Meggy lays on her back, as Melony moves closer to the girls.
“Umm…” Melony called out to them, “excuse m-”
“THAT! WAS! TOTALLY WICKED!!!” Meggy shouted with excitement. She jumps back up, hoop in hand, and turns to Isaac and Tari. “Let’s do that again!”
Tari nodded at Meggy and gave Isaac some gently back pets, silently ordering him to go again. Isaac happily followed Tari’s command and jumped towards the hoop. When he was halfway through it, he did several “Tony Hawk's Pro Skater” style SUPER SPEEN moves, spinning and rolling around, up, and down, racking up a ton of points and making the girls cheer.
Melony looks at the girls and tries to speak up again, but slowly closes her mouth, realizing that the girls didn’t need her for their act. She turned and walked away, looking to see if there was anyone else who would have her.
Melony ended up passing where Desti and Axol’s knife-throwing act was set up. She saw that the two were dealing with the Mario Bros, mostly Mario. Desti and Mario seemed to be in a heated argument, so Melony went over to figure out what it was all about.
“For the last time, Mayo,” Desti said to Mario, “you can’t just take the crate of throwing knives for yourself. Axol and I need it for our act!”
“But Mario needs them to make Luigi’s juggling act not boring as hell!” Mario argued back, holding one of the knives in his hands. “He’s-a gonna die out there if he just juggles those boring balls!”
“A-Actually, I’m fine with just the balls,” Luigi said, trying to de-escalate the situation. “I d-don’t-a really feel comfortable using knives, honestly.”
“Plus,” Axol cuts in, “there are plenty of OTHER stuff you two can use for your acts. And, not offence, Mario, but you’re not the most…safe…when it comes to this.”
“WHAT?!” Mario gasped at Axol’s accusation and started flailing his arms around. “MARIO IS TOTALLY SAFE WITH-”
Unfortunately, Mario’s angry shouting and flailing caused the throwing knife to accidentally fly out of his hands. Everyone watched in horror as the knife soared forward, flying right into the path of an approaching Melony.
“HEYA-” *SHINK*
Melony’s greeting was cut off when the flying knife pierced her forehead and into her brain. Thankfully, possibly due to being a demi-god, Melony wasn’t actually hurt by the knife in her head. The most it gets is a curious look before she pulls it out like it was nothing and continues walking over to the group.
“Mel!” Axol runs over and pulls his girlfriend into a tight, worried hug. “Are you okay?!”
“I’m fine, Axy,” Melony said, feeling a little crushed by the hug.
“Do ya need something?” Desti asked Melony.
“Actually…yes.” Melony breaks out of Axol’s hold and looks over the group. “I was wondering if I could join one of you guys.”
“Hmmmmm,” Desti hums in thought. “I think Axol and I’s act all set, unfortunately. There’s nothing we can really put you on for our side. What about you, Mayo?”
Mario’s brain dials up like an AOL computer, trying to use what little grey matter he has to think of an answer.
“OF COURSE!!” The plumber eventually said. He then grabs the crate of throwing knives and hands it towards Melony. “Here you go! Just throw these at Luigi to make him juggle-”
“AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
Luigi’s scream cut through the air as everyone turned to see him hightailing it, not wanting to get stabbed by Mario’s recklessness.
Mario glares at his fleeing brother. “The hunt… is onnnnnnnn.” He then chases after Luigi, carrying the crate of knives over his head as he runs towards his brother.
“MARIO, GIVE THOSE BACK!” Desti yelled at Mario for running away with the crate. “Ugh, Axol, take five! I gotta go after the idiot!’ She runs after Mario, both to get her knives back and stop him from killing Luigi.
This just left Axol and Melony alone, with Melony sighing at another failure.
“What’s wrong, Mel?” Axol asked, seeing his girlfriend’s discontent.
“I still haven’t found an act to call my own…” Melony answered. “I’ve tried to see if anyone else would want me, but no luck so far. I really wanna help out and raise money like everyone else, but…” She sadly sighs once more, feeling this whole situation is hopeless.
Axol, not wanting to see Melony sad, grabs her hand. “C’mon. I’m sure there’s something you can do. Let’s look around the grounds and see.” He and Melony start walking hand-in-hand around the Showgrounds.
They first pass by Bob and Boopkins. Bob was sitting on a flashy, highly-decorated motorcycle and wearing an equally-flashy helmet over his head, while Boopkins held a large hoop just ahead of him. Bob revved his motorcycle’s engines up and aimed the vehicle towards the hoop.
“WhEn ThIs BaBy HiTs 88 MiLeS pEr HoUr,” Bob said, “YoU’rE gOnNa SeE sOmE sErIo-”
Just then, Bob’s motorcycle exploded. The explosion blasted Boopkins and the hoop away, while Bob burned on top of his flaming stunt vehicle.
Axol and Melony kept moving, neither wanting to be part of that hot mess. The two end up walking towards Cipher, who was currently levitating a ball of water between his hands as a potential magic trick. He ended his trick when he saw Axol and Melony approach him.
“Hey, guys!” Cipher greeted the couple. “What’s up?”
“Mel’s been having trouble finding an act for tonight’s performance,” Axol explained. “You think you could help us?”
“I…yes, I think I can! You can be my assistant if you want, Melony.”
“Hmmm,” Melony thinks it over for a minute before nodding at Cipher. “I guess that can work.”
“Great! I think I saw an assistant uniform somewhere.” He moves over to a nearby pile of circus equipment and rummages through it to find the outfit.
After a few moments, he manages to find what he’s looking for and presents it to Melony. Melony’s eyes widened when she saw how…risqué the outfit was. It consisted of a sparkly top and fishnet stockings, like a bunny girl outfit without the bunny ears headband.
Axol and even Cipher were surprised by what the latter had presented, with Cipher not realizing how the outfit would look until he brought it out. He also saw the harsh glare Axol was giving him, no doubt unhappy with the outfit Cipher had suggested Melony wear.
“Cipher…” Axol said, his voice calm but dripping with cold fury.
“I-I SWEAR, I DIDN’T KNOW IT LOOKED LIKE THIS!” Cipher screamed in fearful defence of himself. “IT WAS JUST THE FIRST THING I GRABBED!”
Axol just glared at Cipher with arms crossed. He knew Cipher was telling the truth, but he wanted to make sure the magic man learned his lesson in always double-checking things first.
Cipher seemed to get the lessons as he slowly backed away from Axol. “I-I guess I should go. Good luck, Melony!”
Melony watches Cipher leave, sprinting away with nervous feet. She looks over to Axol, who notices the flat, unimpressed look on his girlfriend’s face.
“Was that really necessary?” Melony asked him, her voice just as flat as her face.
“S-Sorry…” Axol apologized, now feeling embarrassed. “Guess I went a little overboard…”
“It’s okay, Axy. I forgive you.” Melony kisses her boyfriend’s cheek. “But now you gotta keep helping me find an act.”
“Fair enough. Let’s go.” Axol and Melony intertwined their fingers once more and kept walking.
The couple soon come across the interesting sight of SMG4 dragging SMG3 by his legs. He dragged his rival away from his desk, interrupting his stream and back towards the Showgrounds circus equipment.
“HEY! NO!!” SMG3 yelled, kicking at SMG4 to let him go. “I DON’T WANT TO BE IN THIS STUPID CIRCUS!!”
“YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!!” SMG4 yelled, embracing his inner angry SpongeBob. “Or else,” SMG4 cheekily pulled out a file reading “SMG3’s Totally Not Sussy Internet History,” “I’m gonna have to release your internet search history to the world.”
SMG3 blushed in shock, remembering all the weird and illegal things he looks up in his free time. He gets onto his knees and begs SMG4 not to do it. “Ok! Ok! I will! I will!”
SMG4 smiles brightly at SMG3, glad the man was on-board, and the two get to work.
Axol and Melony pass by the two SMGs, leaving them be and focusing on their own mission. They look through more circus equipment for potential circus acts, but none of them speak to Melony, and anything she does try fails miserably.
Just as things were getting hopeless, Melony hears something coming from one of the dumpster bins. She turned around to see Depresso, rummaging through one of the dumpsters a fair bit away from her and Axol.
“I’m the trashman!” Depresso said as he slid into the dumpster, pushing and throwing around the trash inside.
Melony gets up and goes over to the dumpster bin, something Axol notices. He follows his girlfriend and watches her kneel in front of the bin like it was a religious altar.
“Oh, wise bin troll…” Melony said towards the rummaging Depresso. “Please tell me how I can help this show tonight.”
Depresso doesn’t pay attention to Melony’s prayers, too busy looking through the trash. He ends up coming across a ventriloquist dummy, takes one look at it, and gags at how ugly it is. He throws it out of the bin and continues his garbage rummaging.
The dummy ends up hitting Melony’s chest and drops to her feet, the girl looking down at it. The dummy heavily resembled “Slappy,” the evil, sad*stic, living dummy from the “Goosebumps” series. Melony didn’t know this, her mind instead focusing on the doll itself.
Her eyes sparkled with joy as she realised this is what her act could be; Ventriloquism! She silently thanked Depresso for his “gift” and picked up the doll, before turning herself towards Axol to show it off.
“Axy, LOOK!” Melony said, shoving the dummy into her boyfriend’s face. “I could do THIS for an act!”
“Well done, Mel!’ Axol congratulated his girlfriend. “I knew we’d find something for you to do!”
The couple celebrated, only for it to be cut short when Desti called out to Axol.
“AXOL! WHERE ARE YOU?!” Desti yelled out for her stage partner. “I GOT THE KNIVES BACK AND WE NEED TO KEEP PRACTICING BEFORE TONIGHT’S SHOW!”
“Well, guess that’s my cue,” Axol jokingly said. He turns back to Melony and puts a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You’re gonna do great tonight, Mel. I can’t wait to see your performance!” With that, Axol leaves Melony and heads back towards Desti.
Melony also leaves, dummy in hand, and gets ready for tonight’s performance.
The day turns into night over the Showgrounds, where everything was ready for its first big show.
While the performers had practiced their acts, SMG4 had gone out to set up the show. He placed posters on every building, tree, and person’s face to get as many audience members as possible to the show. He then set up the stage inside the chalk castle outline. He put a circus platform dead center of it and surrounded the platform with balloons and small “Mario Party” Dice Blocks. He made the welcome banister, which had an image of Mario in a clown costume and the words “THE AMAZING SMG4 CIRCUS; ENTRY THIS WAY” on it, set up the spotlights, and set the banister behind the rows of theatre seats he found. He finishes preparation by having Saiko and Kaizo, the former now dressed in her college outfit, provide music.
All his preparations pay off, as all the seats fill with guests. The guests ranged from typical Mushroom Kingdom residents (Koopas, Monty Moles, Goombas, Bullet Bills), to memes, to animated characters like Goku and Woody the Cowboy. Even Cube, FM’s “Animal Crossing” penguin friend/pet, was in the audience, here to see the show.
Once everyone was seated, the show began. Kaizo plays a drumroll as the spotlights dim, only to turn and shine over the circus platform. SMG4 then emerges from a cloud of smoke on top of the platform, dressed in his top hat and cane, and looks towards the audience.
“WELCOME,” SMG4 said in a booming, dramatic voice, “to the AMAZING SMG4 CIRCUS, EVERYONE! Boy, do I have the best show for you, tonight!
“But wait…” SMG4 looks around the stage in an over-the-top manner. “Where’s my assistant?” He claps his hands to summon his assistant to him.
A puff of smoke appears beside the platform. The smoke clears to reveal Pomni from “The Amazing Digital Circus,” eating a slice of pizza. Both her and SMG4 are surprised by the former’s appearance here, and Pomni starts to freak out.
“OH NO, NOT AGAIN-” She screams, the jester feeling a horrible sense of Déjà vu, before SMG4 makes her disappear in another clap and puff of smoke.
“Whoops, wrong show,” SMG4 apologized with an embarrassed smile. He claps his hands again, summoning his REAL assistant to him this time.
His assistant was none other than SMG3. The man was dressed in the bunny girl outfit Cipher had found earlier, complete with bunny ears in the form of the Bunny Hood from “LOZ: Majora’s Mask.” SMG3 looked like he really didn’t want to be here right now, the feeling only growing when he noticed the Bunny Hood over his head.
“OI!” 3 yelled at SMG4. “I THOUGHT WE SAID NO BUNNY EARS!!!”
Cube in the crowd laughed at SMG3’s attire, earning the penguin a glare from 3.
“C’mon, SMG3, do the thing…” SMG4 whispered to SMG3 while pointing a gun at him.
Instead of feeling intimidated by the firearm, SMG3 was more annoyed than anything else. Letting out a loud groan, he turns to the audience and does his part, speaking to them in the most bored and monotone voice he could muster.
“Flim Flam, tell you mothers… Our first act is…” He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and reads off it, “‘The Spaghetti Clown Brothers…’”
With his part done, SMG3 turns and walks out of the stage, muttering how stupid this whole thing was.
The Spaghetti Clown Brothers!
Luigi and Mario, dressed in black tuxes with respective green and red bow ties, appeared before the crowd. Luigi stood in the middle of the stage, his hands outstretched. He clears his throat before reaching behind his back with an intense look, making the audience think he was about to pull out something incredible.
In reality, Luigi just pulled out two regular balls and started juggling them in a circle above him. He juggles them steadily and calmly as Mario rolls along the ground on his unicycle, making airplane noises as he drives around Luigi.
Unfortunately, their act gets no reaction from the crowd. The audience all stare at the brothers with either boredom or annoyance, not finding their performance exciting or funny. Luigi notices the audience’s displeasure and glances over to Mario.
“Uhh…Mario…” Luigi said, “no one’s clapping…”
Mario stops unicycling and looks at the audience, finding what Luigi had said was true. No one in the audience was clapping, with a few even looking ready to leave. Mario then looks off to the side where SMG4, 3, Saiko, and Kaizo were, seeing that SMG4 was also nervously looking at the audience.
“DO SOMETHING!!!” 4 said to Mario, wanting him to save the show.
Mario rubs his chin in thought, before an idea strikes him. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a couple knives and swords.
“I KNEW THESE WOULD COME IN HANDY!” Mario said before throwing the sharp objects towards Luigi.
Luigi was soon forced to juggle the knives and swords along with his balls, making him very scared since one mistake could lead to death. However, this new addition to his act renewed interest from the audience. They all began to clap and cheer at Luigi, screaming for more.
“LOOK, IT’S WORKING!” Seeing his idea work, Mario then takes out a revving chainsaw and throws it towards Luigi.
Luigi was now juggling the chainsaw along with everything else in his hands, making his fear worsen. But the audience loved it, cheering and clapping even louder now.
“OK, MARIO, THAT’S ENOUGH NOW!” Luigi screamed, begging Mario not to add anything else.
But Mario wanted to push it even further. He tears open a rift in space and pulls out a blackhole, before causally tossing it towards Luigi.
“IS THAT A BLACKHOLE, MAA-” Luigi’s cries distorted when he starts juggling the blackhole.
It didn’t take long for things to go wrong when the blackhole started sucking Luigi into it. Before anyone knew it, Luigi and most of his juggling stuff were sucked into the blackhole. The chainsaw was all that remained, and it was sent hurtling towards Mario.
The chainsaw sliced through Mario’s neck, decapitating him, and his head slid off onto the ground. Thankfully, since this was Mario, he was fine, but the audience was now in an uproar. They yelled and booed the stage, unhappy that the juggling act had ended on such a lame note.
“Dammit…” Mario said, hopping his head to the side. “Welp… Next act.”
The Great Cipher-ini!
Cipher was up next. The magic man appeared before the crowd in a flourish of his sparkly cape. Three balls of concentrated Ice, Fire, and Lightning magic swirled over his head, Cipher wanting to come off as cool and mystical. He poses dramatically for the audience before preparing his speech.
“Greetings, ladies and gentleman!” He said to the crowd. “I hope you’re ready for a truly magical show tonight, because the Great Cipher-ini is here to wow you with the most amazing magic you’ve ever laid your eyes upon!
“Let’s start off easy with an oldie but a goodie; The ‘Pulling a Rabbit out of the Hat’ trick!” Cipher takes off his top hat and shows it to the audience, showing no rabbits inside.
He holds his hat top-down and taps his wand against it, letting out the magic words “SHIA KAZING!” Magic pours out of the wand and over the top hat, making it glow from the inside. Cipher then puts his wand away and sticks his hand into the glowing hat, grabbing and pulling out a rabbit for the audience.
Cipher was taken aback, however, when the rabbit turned out to be a Raving Rabbid from the “Rayman” series. The two looked at each other for a moment, before the Rabbit let out an angry “BWAAAAH!” and tackled Cipher.
The Rabbid was soon followed by an entire pack of itself, all pouring out of the top hat. They all piled on top of Cipher in an angry mob, yelling and assaulting him. All the while Cipher flailed and screamed, trying to get the insane rabbit creatures off of himself to little success.
The audience just stared silently at Cipher’s magic show gone awry, except for Cube, who was watching the scene with great delight.
“Well THAT was worth the price of admission~” He said, munching on a tub of popcorn as he watched Cipher struggle against the Raving Rabbids.
Daredevil Bob!
(and boopkins…)
“ArE yOu AlL rEaDy To SeE sOmE aCtIoN?!” Bob said to the audience as he presented his act.
The act involved a large ramp, which Bob will fly over on his motorcycle through a series of fire-spewing hoops and swinging axes. He’ll have to avoid being burned and chopped if he wants to make it to Boopkins, who was tied with rope and hanging in the middle of the last hoop. Bob will grab Boopkins mid-flight and hold him close before landing on the ramp on the other side and skidding to a stop.
“HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!” Boopkins cried from his tied-up position on the last hoop.
With everything set, Bob puts on his helmet and jumps onto his motorcycle. “NoW gEt ReAdY fOr ThE mOsT dAnGeRoUs StUnT oF aLl TiMe!”
The audience watched Bob with large eyes, some members even shaking with anticipation for the incredible stunt they were about to bear witness to. Bob revved the engine of his motorcycle up before speeding down towards the ramp. The audience sat at their edge of their seats, waiting to see if Bob succeeded or failed in his attempt.
The answer would turn out to be the latter, but not for the reasons they’d expect. Bob sped towards the ramp…only to completely miss it and crash into the stack of Dice Blocks right beside it. He and the motorcycle crumple on impact before bursting into flames, much to Bob’s unbelievable shock.
“...WhAt ThE fU-”
Desti and Axol’s Death-Defying Knife Show!
Desti and Axol, both dressed in their college outfits, took the stage, the latter strapped to the Death Wheel. Beside the wheel was an Anime Replica Krillin, who monitored the spinning speed of the wheel. The wheel was currently set to “Slow,” making Axol barely spin at all while Desti chucked knives around him.
The audience grew quite dull from the slow spinning, despite the danger Desti’s throwing knives presented. The audience was deadly silent, enough to hear crickets chirping nearby. Desti saw the audience beginning to doze off, so she turned to the replica Krillin.
“Faster!” She ordered, Krillin following it and bumping the speed to “Medium.”
The wheel’s spinning became noticeably more pronounced, Axol fully spinning around in it every 7 seconds, but it wasn’t enough for Desti.
“FASTER!” Desti ordered Krilling to boost it, the speed now set to “Fast.”
Now, the wheel was spinning as fast as a speeding race car tire, making a full rotation every second. The audience was now starting to get interested in the act, but Desti knew that going even faster would knock their socks off.
“EVEN FASTER NOW!” Krillin mindlessly followed Desti’s command, setting the wheel speed to “MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!”
At that, the wheel, and Axol, turned into a blur of motion. The red and white colours of the wheel all blurred together from the speed, making it almost hypnotic-looking. Desti just smirked at the speeding wheel and started throwing her knives at it again, doing her best to avoid accidentally hitting Axol.
Axol, who was getting dizzy from all this spinning, managed to register the knives being thrown at him. A few of the knives got a little too close for him, particularly one just below his privates, but they never drew blood, a testament to Desti’s skill and careful, steady hands. He could hear the crowd cheering, loving the extreme stunt before them, and Axol was certain they would be a hit.
And they would’ve…until the creaking happened. Desti paused her knife-throwing when she saw the wheel begin to shake violently, creaking and snapping coming from the spokes. Before she could ask Krillin to slow it down, the wheel shook itself loose and rolled over him, squashing him flat before he faded out of existence.
The wheel then rolled towards the audience, who all screamed and dived out of the way to avoid being flattened. The wheel tore through the seats, crushing them under its weight. The wheel rolled away like a speeding train, rocketing through the crowd and down the Showground, before colliding with the entrance gate and exploding.
At the sight of the devastation, Desti outs her arms behind her head and walked off-screen, whistling a tune of questionable innocence as she tried to hide her face from the crowd.
Meggy and Tari; The Great Lion Tamers!
Meggy and Tari, both wearing their college wear, and their lion Isaac were the next to perform.
Or they would, if it wasn’t for the fact Isaac was fast asleep on the ground. The two girls tried to wake the lion up, pushing on and against him to make him open his eyes.
“C-C’mon, Isaac,” Tari said as she and Meggy tried lifting him up, “it's showtime!”
“Tari…” Meggy said, realizing the problem, “I think we practiced a bit too hard today-”
Isaac then raised a paw up to Meggy and pulled him towards her, cuddling her like a teddy bear. Meggy felt herself being crushed by Isaac’s strong hold on her, while Tari flew into a panic over the irritated audience.
The audience started booing the girls, throwing produce and trash at them. Tari was crying as she dodged around the trash, feeling mortified at her and Meggy’s act going awry. Saiko and Desti came to help them, Saiko protecting Tari from the incoming trash and pulling her away while Desti tried to free Meggy from Isaac’s grip.
“NO WAIT! WAIT!” SMG4 said, running onto the stage to calm down the audience. “PLEASE DON’T HATE THE SHOW!!!”
SMG4’s pleas and begs are ignored as one audience member throws a row of seats at him. SMG4 was thrown back by the force of the impact, flying all the way to the end of the chalk outline. More produce and trash kept getting thrown his way, so 4 looked over to SMG3 for help.
“SMG3, DO SOMETHING!”
SMG3 already was, namely live-streaming SMG4’s disaster of a circus. He was recording everything with a camera hooked up to his laptop and uploading onto his Twitch. The video, which SMG3 titled “LOSER PUTS ON WORST SHOW EVER,” was currently showing the audience booing SMG4 and throwing junk at him, all while the man cried into his hands.
“I’m ruined…” SMG4 was certain his circus was a failure, when a loud whistle from center stage drew everyone’s attention.
The audience stopped their booing and produce pelting, and Desti pulled Meggy free of Isaac’s clutches, and everyone turned to the stage to see Melony. The melon girl was sitting on the platform, her dummy sitting on her lap. She waited until the audience was completely focused on her before she did her own act.
“Hey everyone!” Melony said, waving at the audience. “I’d like you to meet my friend, Arnold.” She gestures to the dummy, now known as Arnold. “Can you tell us a funny joke, Arnold?”
Arnold turned his head to the audience. Kaizo started playing a drumroll, building up the suspense and tension for when Arnold eventually told his joke. Everyone focused on the dummy, waiting for the pin to drop until, finally, Arnold opens his mouth and says…
“YO MAMA!”
The audience was silent at Arnold’s joke, too stunned to move. That would only last for a second before they all started screaming.
“CRINGE! CRINGE! CRINGE! CRINGE! CRINGE! CRINGE!” The audience chanted, their bodies shriveling at such a horrible joke.
They all collapsed in on one another before they all exploded into coins. The reaction shocked the gang, none more so than Melony. They all stared at the coins for a few moments before the gang turned to Melony and vice versa.
“Melony…” Tari said, feeling a strange mix of proud and sorry for Melony. “You kinda did it!” She then picks the coins off of the ground, most of the others doing the same.
“Y-You saved the S-Showgrounds, h-honey…” Axol said, still feeling dizzy from his act, before collapsing face-first onto the ground.
Melony beamed at the gang’s praise, happy that her act saved the show, even if unintentionally. The gang then all lift her and Arnold into the air, cheering them on as the heroes of the Showgrounds. Meggy laughed in joy at this, though Arnold was less than pleased.
“Please,” Arnold begged. “Please free me…” His pleas would go unanswered as he and Melony were paraded around the Showgrounds.
As for SMG4, he was currency holding a stack of large coins that was collected. He counts over them in his arms and smiles when he finishes.
“Yes!’ SMG4 cheered. “With this money, we can finally afford a new castle!”
“Actually,” SMG3 said, about to give some bad news, “with the cost of this whole set…we’re probably only left with enough for furniture.”
“...I’LL TAKE IT!!”
The next day, SMG4 and Mario were sitting on the Showgrounds’ new couch.
With the leftover money from last night’s show, SMG4 was able to buy it and several other furnishings. This included a TV, a table for the TV, several beds (for Melony), a computer and desk (for SMG3), a dumpster (for Bob), a writer's desk with several manga over it (for Axol and Boopkins), Splatoon training dummies and target boards (for Meggy and Desti), a pile of rubber ducks (for Tari), an amp (for Saiko and Kaizo), some chairs, and a spare couch.
SMG4 was looking over the furnishings with pride, happy at the steady progress towards making the castle. Mario, however, looked less than enthusiastic about it, thinking that it was still boring here.
“Kill me…”
